My writing ideas are frenetic at best, though occasionally I'm able to sit down and truly focus on character, plot, and themes and stick with them.
This really isn't one of those times.
Last night, I was lying awake wondering if I needed to turn my current WIP--already in its third major iteration--into two completely separate novels. I hate the thought, mostly because it means killing my darlings, but if you're a writer you're all too familiar with that advice. So long, sort-of-self-indulgent plot--you will have to thrive on your own. The thing about this specific plot line is that it doesn't want to be a primary or a secondary plot. It starts in a weird place--not quite midpoint, but dominates the entire last half. Tying up loose ends with the "true main plot" didn't seem possible without either focusing too much on "weird secondary plot" or completely eschewing it and contriving an ending.
I'm a Big Girl. I can recognize this within my work--though I'm not happy about it.
Do you ever have one of those plot ideas that stays in your head for years, taunting you? It might not be a particularly good or riveting plot, but nonetheless you must write it. That was "weird secondary plot" for me. I had to put it in a novel. And I've been trying since 2013.
Iteration one: PAPER CUTS was my first finished manuscript, written during NaNoWriMo, and sure to be The One. Except, it wasn't. It was juvenile, wishy-washy, and not right for the target audience. I struggled with melding a more adult premise with the desire to publish a YA novel. This plot idea that I've had to put into a novel since 2013? A girl at the cusp of adulthood forging an inappropriate relationship with a young teacher. This is possibly fueled by my own fantasies of my tenth grade English teacher, though, I certainly don't condone this actually happening. It was supposed to be cautionary, but not preachy. Relatable, and you almost root for them, but you know better. I was proud to finish it, and put in some decent editing time, but ultimately decided it needed to go back to the drawing board.
Iteration two: SAD GIRL/MAD GIRL was an almost complete overhaul. Setting stayed the same, except instead of taking place in 1989, I moved it to 1993 for strategic plot reasons. The relationship with the teacher became an off-shoot of a bigger problem: the MC's surfacing mental illness. I wanted to write a book about a girl in her senior year of high school, tensely reunited with her estranged mother, and lost. She finds solace in a new community, meets this teacher in the summer, and then finds out who he is at the start of the school year. This would be all well and good, if I didn't then forget to plot out the rest of her home situation and completely dive into the relationship that starts again midway through the school year. SG/MG is not a bad novel, but it's problematic. It lost many of the points I was trying to hit, in my shameless self-indulgent storyline.
Iteration three: THE INSISTENCE OF SHEEP happened after letting SG/MG sit for almost a year, with minor edits and glossing over. I knew there was more to my MC's story, mainly the relationship with her mother, and I was inspired by a few adult novels that use younger characters with multiple points of view. So it became a multiple third person POV story, with rich backstory and current problems, but still, yes, that inappropriate relationship taking center stage in the last half. I wanted to make it work. I thought, I'll put in that young teacher's POV too, and give his character understandable motive, and I really thought it would work.
But the focus on TIOS is not that relationship. It's the ones between the mother and daughter, and the mother and grandmother. So, sorry, Mr. Carter, but you've got to go.
Sort of. It would still be fitting to have my MC's manic episodes--mixed with her Dangerous Teenage Hormones--lead to inappropriate behavior and an obsession. It would still be fitting to have this teacher wanting to mentor and guide her, while resisting her advances and being placed in an uncomfortable position. It would set up conflict without losing sight of the ultimate goal--will mother and daughter see eye to eye?
And while it pains me to get rid of a character I love, and writing I've already put thought and time into, I know it's for the best. TIOS is meant to be a sort-of period piece, a look at generational differences and best laid plans oft going awry. It is not a romance.
However the WIP that will absorb what I've written and then some is a romance. More specifically, one focusing on the relationship between a student who lies about her age and a slightly-older stranger who ends up as her teacher when summer is over. It will be smartly written but self-indulgent as all get out. Sexy, tense, heartbreaking, and most importantly, that book I'd want to read when I'm trying to get away from smarter, heavier reads like Janet Fitch's White Oleander or anything by Margaret Atwood. My intent with this novel, possibly brought back as PAPER CUTS but who knows, is to self-publish on Amazon with great thought and careful design, and (hopefully) make some money on the side while I focus on my "more important" work. Maybe I'll make my career as a romance writer, instead. Who knows?
This really isn't one of those times.
Last night, I was lying awake wondering if I needed to turn my current WIP--already in its third major iteration--into two completely separate novels. I hate the thought, mostly because it means killing my darlings, but if you're a writer you're all too familiar with that advice. So long, sort-of-self-indulgent plot--you will have to thrive on your own. The thing about this specific plot line is that it doesn't want to be a primary or a secondary plot. It starts in a weird place--not quite midpoint, but dominates the entire last half. Tying up loose ends with the "true main plot" didn't seem possible without either focusing too much on "weird secondary plot" or completely eschewing it and contriving an ending.
I'm a Big Girl. I can recognize this within my work--though I'm not happy about it.
Do you ever have one of those plot ideas that stays in your head for years, taunting you? It might not be a particularly good or riveting plot, but nonetheless you must write it. That was "weird secondary plot" for me. I had to put it in a novel. And I've been trying since 2013.
Iteration one: PAPER CUTS was my first finished manuscript, written during NaNoWriMo, and sure to be The One. Except, it wasn't. It was juvenile, wishy-washy, and not right for the target audience. I struggled with melding a more adult premise with the desire to publish a YA novel. This plot idea that I've had to put into a novel since 2013? A girl at the cusp of adulthood forging an inappropriate relationship with a young teacher. This is possibly fueled by my own fantasies of my tenth grade English teacher, though, I certainly don't condone this actually happening. It was supposed to be cautionary, but not preachy. Relatable, and you almost root for them, but you know better. I was proud to finish it, and put in some decent editing time, but ultimately decided it needed to go back to the drawing board.
Iteration two: SAD GIRL/MAD GIRL was an almost complete overhaul. Setting stayed the same, except instead of taking place in 1989, I moved it to 1993 for strategic plot reasons. The relationship with the teacher became an off-shoot of a bigger problem: the MC's surfacing mental illness. I wanted to write a book about a girl in her senior year of high school, tensely reunited with her estranged mother, and lost. She finds solace in a new community, meets this teacher in the summer, and then finds out who he is at the start of the school year. This would be all well and good, if I didn't then forget to plot out the rest of her home situation and completely dive into the relationship that starts again midway through the school year. SG/MG is not a bad novel, but it's problematic. It lost many of the points I was trying to hit, in my shameless self-indulgent storyline.
Iteration three: THE INSISTENCE OF SHEEP happened after letting SG/MG sit for almost a year, with minor edits and glossing over. I knew there was more to my MC's story, mainly the relationship with her mother, and I was inspired by a few adult novels that use younger characters with multiple points of view. So it became a multiple third person POV story, with rich backstory and current problems, but still, yes, that inappropriate relationship taking center stage in the last half. I wanted to make it work. I thought, I'll put in that young teacher's POV too, and give his character understandable motive, and I really thought it would work.
But the focus on TIOS is not that relationship. It's the ones between the mother and daughter, and the mother and grandmother. So, sorry, Mr. Carter, but you've got to go.
Sort of. It would still be fitting to have my MC's manic episodes--mixed with her Dangerous Teenage Hormones--lead to inappropriate behavior and an obsession. It would still be fitting to have this teacher wanting to mentor and guide her, while resisting her advances and being placed in an uncomfortable position. It would set up conflict without losing sight of the ultimate goal--will mother and daughter see eye to eye?
And while it pains me to get rid of a character I love, and writing I've already put thought and time into, I know it's for the best. TIOS is meant to be a sort-of period piece, a look at generational differences and best laid plans oft going awry. It is not a romance.
However the WIP that will absorb what I've written and then some is a romance. More specifically, one focusing on the relationship between a student who lies about her age and a slightly-older stranger who ends up as her teacher when summer is over. It will be smartly written but self-indulgent as all get out. Sexy, tense, heartbreaking, and most importantly, that book I'd want to read when I'm trying to get away from smarter, heavier reads like Janet Fitch's White Oleander or anything by Margaret Atwood. My intent with this novel, possibly brought back as PAPER CUTS but who knows, is to self-publish on Amazon with great thought and careful design, and (hopefully) make some money on the side while I focus on my "more important" work. Maybe I'll make my career as a romance writer, instead. Who knows?
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